If I Were the Car Czar - Car News

The U.S. government may appoint a car czar to oversee the auto industry as a part of the pending bailout legislation. If the position was to be created, Steven Cole Smith would want the job, and here’s what he would do:

I’m expecting the call any moment now.

In fact, there it is now! (“Hello? Hello? Yes, I am in fact quite happy with my current long-distance plan. Listen, I’m trying to keep this line open. . . ”)

Anyway, back to saving the American auto industry, and by extension, America. It will not be easy. The $15 billion the U.S. Congress is in the process of approving is a start, but we have much work to do.

One issue we must address: Ford is not part of this initial program, figuring it can weather the storm for a while on its own. But if I am to fix Chrysler and General Motors, is it fair to Ford for me not to fix it, too? No, of course not. So we must make Ford part of this program?if it figures it may want federal aid in the future, it must come on board now.

OK? Everybody on the same page? Let’s begin.

Here is the biggest problem: Nobody is buying cars. General Motors has said the last two months of sales are at a level that is “not sustainable.” Those are two very important words. They suggest that no matter what anyone does, selling cars at this level?and I, the new car czar, am predicting 2009 sales at 10.9 million units?is insufficient to maintain any semblance of our present industry.

So here is my two-part solution:

One, build vehicles people want to buy. Everybody builds good vehicles now; and quality is no longer the issue.

Two, convince people to buy them.

Yes, it really is that simple. But until we do, as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi loves to say, everyone must get a haircut.And not a $350 styling and a manicure and an eel-wrap facial like she gets?a real bowl-over-the-head, trim-around-the-edges haircut.

We look to Japan for the style of haircut. We have Toyota and its premium brand Lexus. Honda and its premium brand Acura. Nissan and its premium brand Infiniti. See a trend?

General Motors must become Chevrolet and the premium brand Cadillac.

Ford must become Ford and the premium brand Lincoln.

Chrysler?there’s a problem. It would be easy to say Dodge and the premium brand Chrysler. But that leaves out Jeep, which is viable. We’ll sell Jeep. It’s actually worth some money. Maybe the buyer would like Hummer, too.

We’ll also sell Volvo and Saab, or give them back to Sweden with our best good wishes. Mazda can repurchase the rest of itself. What about overseas holdings like GM’s Holden and Ford of Europe, and Buick’s Chinese division? They have to operate autonomously for a while. I am, after all, just one man-czar.