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It＊s almost Christmas, so time for talk about the sack. Don＊t worry, Paul Ince: we mean the sack bulging with footballing gifts that Santa, with your help, will dispatch to your loved ones. Can＊t think of anything more exciting than a replica shirt? Here are some ideas
Gifts
One for the wannabe groundsman in your life: the grow-your-own miniature pitch kit.
It＊s a tin containing all you need to cultivate a small slab of grass to the exact seed formula used for the turf at Old Trafford, the Emirates Stadium, Goodison Park, Anfield, White Hart Lane or Wembley. A backdrop of your club＊s stadium and a set of pitch markings add to the authenticity/strangeness. When very bored or very drunk, why not stage miniature pitch invasions using Lego people?
(£18.75 from lastminute.com)
Expecting family rows on Christmas Day?
Buy someone a football table so you can harmlessly take out all that aggression. Just don＊t twirl the sticks so your men somersault because you know that＊s cheating. John Lewis has a good selection.
(£97 to £1,460 from johnlewis.com)
Bend it like Mortensen with the Leather Football.
High visibility? Super-smooth panelling? Cushioned technology? Forget all that. This is a proper, retro ball like the kind your grandad used to kick around.
(£44.06 plus delivery, conranshop.co.uk)
Whether you want a T-shirt lauding Barack Obama＊s election win or England＊s 4-1 victory over Croatia
,
Philosophy Football (philosophyfootball.com)
is the place to go. Its latest design is a tribute to Tottenham Hotspur＊s new enforcer, ※Dirty Harry§ Redknapp.
(£19.99)
Help to pay for Wembley and Fabio Capello＊s salary
by purchasing direct from the FA at englandstore.thefa.com. No Lord Triesman fridge magnets, sadly 每 just Three Lions merchandise, from Mexico ＊86 replica gear to the England Dog Bowl (£6.99). But for the truly naff, head to footballsouvenirs.net. Official West Ham United Mini Gnome (£5.99), anyone?
Books
Allow someone to become a sports editor with
My Football Year
. It is a game-by-game account of a club＊s season 每 Celtic, Rangers or Barclays Premier League teams 每 but the user can change and choose the content, personalising its words, pictures and statistics. At the end of the season, the book is printed as a hardback and posted to its ※author§
(£16.99, times.myfootballyear.com)
Gain a deeper understanding of the man behind the designer glasses by reading Gabriele Marcotti＊s biography,
Capello: Portrait of a Winner (£18.99).
The Times writer＊s book is a thorough and readable account of a complex character.
Part two of Bobby Charlton＊s autobiography
centres on his England Years and, like the first, My Manchester United Years, has drawn lavish praise from critics. So has Max Velody＊s
Can We Play You Every Week
, a trip around all 92 Football and Premier League clubs
(£12.99).
More scribbling from Times journalists can be found in
Forgive Us Our Press Passes (£19.99)
, a wide-ranging anthology.
Video games
The annual update of the most detailed and realistic management simulation around, Football Manager 2009 (£39.99, PC and PSP), goes toe-to-toe across the technical area with Fifa Manager 09 (£29.99, PC) and Premier Manager 09 (£19.99, PC and PS2). If you＊d rather be on the pitch, there＊s the yearly battle between the superior gameplay of Pro Evolution Soccer 2009 (£24.99, PS2; £29.99, PC and PSP; £49.99, Xbox 360 and PS3) and the officially licensed Fifa 09 (£29.99, PS2, DS, PC and PSP; £39.99, Wii; £49.99, Xbox 360 and PS3).
DVDs
It is amazing that more footballers do not agitate for a winter break, since it would allow them to leave the country and avoid the annual slew of cash-in DVDs devoted to laughing at their misfortunes. Last seen hanging out with Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Ray Winstone offers his
Football Blinders and Blunders (19.99)
. The highs and lows of park life are also chronicled by another Londoner who would probably feel more comfortable in a Guy Ritchie gangster flick than introducing own goals, Phil Daniels, in his
Football Match Day Madness (£19.99).
Even Ricky Hatton is at it with his
Hotshots (£19.99).
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